but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
