Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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