I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
