did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
