I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
