if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
