My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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