At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
