it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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