It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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