Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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