I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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