Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
