I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this boner is exhausting
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
