Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
