Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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