Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
