i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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