Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
