U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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