it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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