I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
