If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That was an excessively violent trivia night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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