dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
