Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
