Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
