I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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