hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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