his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
