Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
