She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
