If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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