Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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