Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
