there's paper in my vomit.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
