Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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