i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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