HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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