I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
