If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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