i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
