We're facebook friends in real life
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
