maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
