final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
