Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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