love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
