I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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