i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
