did you get engaged???
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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