We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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