I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
